Periods can be a pain, even when you’re a cis, straight female. For people who are trans and/or genderqueer, it’s worse. Not only do they have to bear the physical pain, but they also have to suffer through gender dysphoria. It can take a heavy toll on their emotional and mental well-being. So how can their peers help them during such times? Here are a few tips.
1. Change the way you talk about periods. Trans men menstruate too, and so do some non-binary folks. Many women do not menstruate. Trans women, for instance, don’t. Others may have gotten their uterus removed or might be going through menopause. Diseases like irritable bowel syndrome, tuberculosis, liver disease, and diabetes can also, although rarely, cause irregular periods. There can be countless reasons why a woman is not menstruating. It is important to remember that the ability to menstruate does not define womanhood.
2. Spread the word about gender-neutral period products. Trans men are forced to wear “feminine” underwear to use pads. It can make them feel uncomfortable and “less like men'' or “not trans enough.” Most period products are unnecessarily flowery and pink, both of which characteristics are associated with females. This, too, does not make things easier for trans or non-binary people. Gender-neutral period products are essential. Companies like Thinx, LunaPads, and Pyramid 7 sell absorbent boxer shorts that come in a variety of colours. Other companies, such as Piinde, Lily Pads, and GladRags, have introduced reusable pads that do not have conventional feminine patterns or designs. Aunt Flow sells products that are available in neutral red or white packaging. However, none of these companies' products are available in India. PRESENTLY, THERE ARE NO INDIAN COMPANIES THAT SELL GENDER-NEUTRAL PRODUCTS. One cannot find any menstrual products that aren’t meant for women. Although menstrual cups and tampons provide relief for those who do not identify as females, they, too, are sold as “women’s hygiene products.” This needs to change.
3. Help look for all-gender restrooms. One hardly ever comes across a men’s restroom that has sanitary bins or period products. Many of them don’t even have individual cubicles, which provide the necessary privacy for changing a pad or a tampon. In such a case, one is forced to use the women’s restroom, proving to be a highly awkward situation for both parties. Apps like REFUGE Restrooms help find safe, gender-neutral bathrooms. Sharing and supporting such initiatives, or starting your own, can really help your genderqueer friend. In India, although the government is working on building all-gender restrooms, they are often unsafe and hostile to be used.
4. Go shopping for them. Stores, more often than not, display their period products in the “women’s section.” This is a cause of significant discomfort for non-binary and/or trans customers. Moreover, shopping is a good idea if you want to show support to your menstruating friend; often, one can feel too drained to even get out of bed during one’s period. Getting them supplies like chocolates, tampons, hot water bottles, or running a few errands is always appreciated.
5. Lend them an ear when needed. While menstruating, one’s emotions are all over the place. Being trans or genderqueer can make one feel especially lost and alone. Sometimes, all they need is someone to understand what they’re going through. Simply listening to their problems, or letting them know you’re there for them, can help ease the burden on their shoulders. Remember, you have never been in their position, so you have no idea what they’ve experienced. It would help if you never invalidated their thoughts or feelings. You need to show that you support them, no matter what.
If you are on the LGBTQ+ spectrum and menstruating, remember that you are NOT alone. There will always be people who love and support you. Like Ron Weasley, from the Harry Potter books (whoever even wrote them?), once wisely said, “We’re with you whatever happens." Happy Pride Month.
-Ananya Makker
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